On Friday, July 9th, 9:16 pm EST, the New Moon in Cancer invites us to seek true nurturing going beyond our fab mani-pedi dates and facials and into our deep longing for understanding, safety, and unconditional love.
With the Sun and moon in the same sign- there is an almost urgent need for nourishing choices and self-reflection. If we do not take the time to slow down and listen to our bodies at this time, we may find ourselves drained, very emotional, or very done with certain people, places, or situations. This Sun and moon can’t say it any clearer: our self-care is non-negotiable!
So, get out your lavender eye pillows, put your cell on airplane mode and take a siesta from the everyday rush. Keep the Kleenex handy as well because of all the feelings you’ve been managing as you’ve made changes and shifted perspectives? Well, it’s their time to come out and be witnessed without judgment. Self-compassion is in high order here!
We’ve been along a wild ride of eclipses and retrogrades this season, in essence being asked to let go of what doesn’t serve us (no matter how painful) and redefine what success and fulfillment feel like to us with last month’s Full Moon in Capricorn. This has been serious work, mi gente! And we may be feeling the up-leveling emotional jet lag that comes with, dare I say it? Too much change and the noticing of relationships/spaces that we feel are still lacking.
Now the changes may not be overnight, but each eclipse and new and full moon cycle has consciously and unconsciously been moving us forward as we remember more of who we truly are. More than any other, this moon asks us to consider how we’ve been soothing ourselves and what illusions we’ve been caught up in that give us an unrealistic sense of safety and security.
As we reconsider how we nurture ourselves and release ourselves from a false sense of belonging, we are set free to apply our inner and outer resources to create true inner security and a reciprocal community and family life. We may not be able to change, understand or save anyone in our community or family. We can, however, work on healing our own pain and react differently to what is and create more of what we want through our choices.
The Moon (representing intuition/mother/emotions) rules the sign of Cancer, symbolized by the crab, which represents nurturing, our mother, intuition, home, the ocean tides, and feelings. As we’ve shared in previous articles, new moons are all about releasing the old and consciously seeding new ideas, ways of being, projects, and intentions. Perhaps more than many others, this new moon is highly capable of nourishing the seeds we’re planting because of its watery, loving, and motherly nature.
This opportunity asks the question, “What am I choosing to nurture during this highly favored time?” The Sun and moon say, “yourself, por favor!”
The Sun, and especially the moon in its home sign, Cancer, can bring up pain that stems from our family of origin. It brings the witnessing and understanding we received or didn’t. The possibility that we may be repeating cycles of codependency, pursuing relationships with folks who are unavailable, over-caring/over-doing as an extension of our self-worth, and perhaps expecting others to take care of us when, in fact, it’s up to us now to reparent and re-mother ourselves.
When it comes to being wounded in our mother relationship, the impact may be very obvious or deeply under the surface like the cancer energy itself.
These wounds can arise if we have/had a mother or mother figure that couldn’t meet many or most of our mental, emotional or physical needs. Perhaps our mother experienced mental health issues, overwork, lack of time/resources, or awareness. Or they tried their best with what they had available at the time, and it didn’t feel like it was enough for us. Perhaps there was outright abuse or ancestral patterns passed down as women in a patriarchal world still in need of change.
However you may have experienced your mother, there are always spaces within our hearts that may need to be re-mothered somehow.
What is reparenting or re-mothering?
In its simplest terms, it means giving ourselves what we didn’t receive as children so we can heal wounds created in response to our early experiences.
This type of self-care includes focusing on ourselves over others, not reading the room to ensure everything and everyone is ok and healing through reparative choices and experiences with ourselves and others.
After our gentle siesta, it’s important to self-reflect and create new intentions for this New Moon that can bring so much healing and emotional release for us! We can become aware of habits and patterns that are actually getting in the way of receiving the love we want, self-love and relationships included! Get comfy in your bed or couch, and bring along your journal and a glass of water, and a candle if available.
New Moon in Cancer Deep Dive
Set up your nourishing space, keep your glass of water as a symbol of this New Moon and your own emotions and the act of cleansing, clearing, and nurturing.
Light your candle with a prayer or statement that feels powerful to you, suggestions:
- I now give myself permission to prioritize my needs.
- I am ready to allow myself to feel, heal and flow with this New Moon for my highest good.
- I trust my intuition, and now I am on the path of my greatest healing and joy.
- I am deserving of unconditional love.
- I am loving, lovable, and loved.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Permit yourself to just be here with yourself, now.
- Take a few deep breaths and feel your lungs expand and contract. Notice your breath going in and out. Exhale.
- Gently open your eyes and begin to journal.
Suggested Questions for the New Moon in Cancer
- Where do I usually list my deep self-care in my to-list? Where do my needs land in my daily routine and priorities?
- Have I felt unseen or unheard in my family of origin, and has this pattern occurred in other relationships?
- Where have I silenced myself or made myself smaller to keep the peace in my family or community? How can I nurture my voice now?
- Do I often complain about lack of time or rest or play? What is keeping me from making or taking this time for myself?
- Does the place I live now feel like “home?” If it does, notice how that feels and revels in it, and if it doesn’t, how can I create more of a secure, comforting space where I am now?
- What do I really want to feel in my life at this time? And how can I give that to myself now?
- As you write this answer, close your eyes and imagine yourself living that need and desire. Need more nature? Imagine yourself taking that train ride outside the city or living in nature. Allow yourself to tap into your own feelings and vision as if it was already happening now.
- Create some more uplifting and supportive intentions that feel aligned with you, such as:
- It’s ok to feel how I feel, and I allow myself all my feelings.
- It’s safe to feel.
- I am healing day by day and it’s a process.
- Every day I honor my boundaries and respect my space, body, and time.
- I am not here to make everyone feel better. That is not my job. I am here to hold space first for myself and then for those I chose. My space holding cannot take the place of other’s self-responsibility and healing work that they need to do or the work I need to do for myself.
Remember that the Moon and her connection to the tides, mothering, and water have the shadow of enmeshment and over-empathizing with others to the detriment of ourselves.
Take this time to return to your own shell. Create a supportive bedtime routine for yourself. Become more conscious of eating nourishing meals. If necessary, review and rework your boundaries. Dream your dreams. This is a great time to take a bath with a single candle and rest in the darkness and light. Knowing we are all dancing through these lessons and taking care of ourselves is at the heart of being a healthy, amazing human who creates ripples of bienestar in the world. It begins with us. A cuidarnos!