Society has long enjoyed the art of categorizing. Labeling used to place individuals in a subset of a group helping generalize their behavior. Women have been the victim of this unfair practice for decades. The word “spinster” was commonly used to describe an unmarried woman of an older age. In today’s world, a single woman that has never had a crack at marriage or bear children may be negatively viewed by her peers. The possibility she may have made a conscious choice to check the single box can be hard to accept. Why in the world would a female want to be alone? How could she choose not to be coupled up? Is there something wrong with her?
Singles Awareness Day (SAD) comes to cities near you on February 15. It is time to celebrate a single status with excitement and pride.
SAD became a social media blowout, and copyrighted in 2005. It is a date to celebrate one’s single status. Unmarried or uncoupled folks meet to exchange gifts, have dinner or drinks, while enjoying their status of freedom. Some may find themselves single on the upcoming Valentine’s Day but not all is lost if you are feeling a bit lonely. Understandably, the pressures of not having a mate on the day of couples can set a dark cloud for some until you realize that love is all around you. Sarcasm may fall on Singles Awareness Day; however, it is an opportunity to shift the mindset away to free yourself from the obligation of being partnered up.
In a 2019 Vogue interview, Emma Watson was quoted saying “It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.” At the age of 30, the young actor has realized that she was already in a committed relationship with herself. The simple, yet, powerful statement is a testament to how amazing it can be to relinquish your insecurities. Moreso, to feel comfortable enough in your own skin that you do not need outside validation of your worth.
Women, whether single, divorced, or separated face scrutiny from the outside world. Judgment can be swift and harsh when there isn’t a plus one in the picture. It can become somewhat of an embarrassment to show up at family and work gatherings during holidays or special events alone. The stares or questions intimidate the most confident of women, making them feel as if something is wrong if they are not in the company of a male. It’s enough to force many women into unnecessary shame but there is hope for change. Watson and others have spoken out in defense of the status.
Single parents face their own issues with dating. It can be challenging to find a supportive partner that understands the quirks of dating a parent. There is sometimes a stigma one faces that discourage potential suitors shrinking the dating pool. Some time can be spent alone while the right partner arrives into your life. A woman can be left with a feeling of hopelessness that can be daunting. Scary emotions arise as the fear you will never find the right mate haunts you at every turning of age.
Twice divorced left me in single girl shoes at various times of my life. Young and willing to explore who I was and what I wanted became an experiment of sorts. The first few years worth of mistakes and bad choices in potential dates did not help my confidence. Not having a grip of my identity was a disadvantage that left me defenseless. The second round of dating after divorce and motherhood was a lot different. Learning about the woman I wanted to be and her needs were at the top of my priority list. Getting to know who I am on my own became my mission. Being single saved my womanhood, I learned to embrace all parts of me accepting with conviction that I am enough.
If you are currently unpartnered, celebrate it! You should be looking forward to Singles Awareness Day this year. Use it as a day to initiate an exploratory search of the inner you. You can do life on your own and choose happiness. Whoever comes after may complement you but not complete you. You are whole on your own, as you will have discovered by the time your single days are long over.