It’s time to get out your ugly sweater and head out to your family’s holiday party. You have your assigned plate and you’re ready to party. You’re only missing ONE thing: a partner.
The holidays can be extremely stressful for someone who is newly single. As soon as you walk in, you get bombarded with, “Where’s Fulanito/Fulanita?” Perhaps they hadn’t gotten the memo that you were no longer seeing that person. If you’re not emotionally prepared for these questions, they can cause anxiety and send you on an emotional roller coaster.
Don’t worry, it’s not just you. The holidays are notorious for causing people to feel loneliness during the “happiest season of all.” Maybe it’s the continuous Christmas movies on Hallmark or the cheesy commercials on TV, but the notion that you NEED to have that Christmas romance is everywhere.
It’s the magic of the holidays that makes you crazy. It’s the fat man in the suit that makes people fill their hearts with Christmas joy.
It’s the NOT wanting to spend New Years’ Eve alone and having someone to kiss at midnight. The romance of that first NYE Kiss. We all have fantasized about that at least one time in our lives.
It’s no wonder that people go running back to their exes they broke up with in the summer. Perhaps that relationship was fizzling out, but right around Thanksgiving, you decide that it would be a good idea to text your ex a message that only they’ll understand like, “Just ordered 4 tacos and horchata! It’s about to go down!” A few minutes later, you get a text back like, “But did you order the spicy chorizo one?” That’s all it took! Before you know it, you’re meeting up for coffee.
And here you are, sitting in Grandma’s sala sipping on a ponche with frutas, while your ex-partner is talking politics with your cousin.
Maybe it’s the fact that I grew up on rom coms. Or maybe, I watched way too many novelas. But maybe, just maybe this time, your relationship will last. Others won’t be so lucky though; once the magic of Christmas wears off, you’ll be having that “talk” after Valentine’s Day.
Don’t buy into the holiday fluff. Being single during the holidays isn’t the worst thing that can happen. You certainly have time to catch up with your friends, spend time with family, and focus on the most important person: you!
Spend extra time showing yourself some love if you’re feeling down. Self-care is key during these stressful weeks.
Here are a few tips to keep yourself grounded this holiday season:
- Take a bubble bath
- Find time to mediate, at least 10 minutes a day
- Journal, journal, journal
- Call a friend
- Cook with friends
- Sleep in
- Try yoga
- Take a walk
- Entice your senses (essential oils, taste something, get a fluffy blanket, listen to soft music, create art or a vision board for 2020)
The key is to take your mind off the holiday stress. Do not focus on not having! Focus on how abundant your life is. Being grateful for what you have today opens the doors to new and exciting things — including a relationship.
So next time Tio Chuy asks you, “Y El Novio?” you can answer back in your sweet, but firm voice, “Se lo pedi a Papa Noel, pero no servio.”