No More ‘calladita te ves mas bonita,’ Heartbreak Songs Are Giving Women More Fuel to Speak Up

Heartbreak seems to be the tune of the season.  

Both Shakira and Miley Cyrus cranked up their windpipes to give thousands of women an anthem they didn’t know needed to be added to their playlists. And these women are breaking records left and right; Shakira with “Shakira: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53″ and Miley Cyrus with “Flowers.”

But, at this point, these heartbreak songs have evolved into much more. They are becoming a vehicle to further liberate women’s most profound thoughts about love, betrayal, and pain.  

No longer ‘calladitas’

Gone are the days when women, especially Latinas, fit into a mold preconceived by misogynistic ideals. After all, many of us come from the school where we were taught that “calladita te ves mas bonita.” The reality is that calladitas or silent women are just easier to deal with – and we are done putting ourselves to the side to benefit others. Instead, it’s time to unwrap the different components of our strength. Whether it is through behavior that lacks decorum or by airing our dirty laundry in order to make it known that you’re struggling, it’s all fair game. 

Some may say that these actions are deplorable, but the pain endured because of silence is excruciating. It pushes down your chest with what feels like a ton of cinder blocks. It can double anyone over. Avoiding conflict by foregoing proper communication is at the root of these issues, but in a society where machista values overpower anything else, sometimes that feels like the only choice. 

But it is okay to speak out.  

Shakira calls out Piqué for choosing someone less than her (which, understandably, comes from a place of pain since her family was broken up), while Miley shoots the music video of her new song, “Flowers,” in the same location Liam Hemsworth allegedly cheated on her 14 times. Women are being more vocal than ever, even if it’s messy. The collective trauma being carried by millions of women is enough to create a ruckus. We should all join in. 

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The reality is that the anger and pain of a woman who doesn’t feel heard or valued are deafening. Yet, our voices can be louder. 

Empowered through music

Sometimes, when we aren’t able to express ourselves, it feels like our bodies go into a fight or flight response. Getting our feelings out in any manner is the way we can protect ourselves, both mentally and physically, though it may not be welcomed all the time. 

Since many of us haven’t been taught the right ways to diffuse these strong feelings, our reactions can seem extreme to some. Some of us come from immigrant households where emotional intelligence was placed on the back burner and others struggle with the idea of confrontation. This is where self-reflection and self-awareness come into place – but these skills also take time to develop. Be kind to yourself as you work on this.  

Heartbreaks, oftentimes, feel like dead ends. But as they say: A broken heart is an open heart. Let your feelings flow. 

The key thing is not to let anyone dictate how you should express it. (Although, being as respectful as possible is still important.) But let your pain roam freely, scream if you must, and turn the dial up to your favorite songs. Channel in the energy of finding your voice once again and wipe away your tears as you transform into the strongest version of yourself.  

Shakira and Miley aren’t the only ones capable of doing this. You, too, can do this. 

So, blast their songs and keep raising the volume of your voice. Así ganamos todas.