Witty Ways To Respond to Your Tía When She Calls Your Partner ‘Amiguita’

Pride Partner amiguita LGBTQ BELatina Latinx
Image courtesy of BELatina.

Pride month is here, which means companies are rushing to capitalize on the LGBTQ+ community with all their might. 

Rainbows are about to be splattered on everything, including items that quite frankly don’t need to be “rainbowfied.” But, hey, I’ll take it! So as long as everyone is rainbow-washing every inch of the month of June, maintain their inclusionary efforts year-long, right? 

Wrong. That’s not always the case, which is why my Gay Agenda includes jotting down those who don’t. More on this another time. 

Now, something that does follow LGBTQ+ people year-long is dismissive family members, especially in the Latino community. 

Many Latinos are known for their conservatism, so accepting an LGBTQ+ member is difficult for them. But some do try (and may they be blessed with all that’s good in this world), while others refuse to acknowledge who you are and who you’ve chosen to love.

For instance, instead of asking about your boyfriend or girlfriend, they will ask about your “little friend” or “amiguito/amiguita.” And that’s not something anyone should put up with. Your relationship is as valid as their third marriage, so it’s time we put an end to their dismissive and condescending comments. 

Next time they try to pretend your significant other is just a friend, remind them who they are — and hit them back with witty comments (in Spanish) that will slap them harder than Soraya Montenegro. 

Don’t worry about being known as the grosero or grosera of the family. They had it coming. 

Choose any of the following one-liners to practice on them until you create your own. That amiguito/amiguita nonsense ends with our generation. 

Them: ¿Y tu amiguita?

Response: ¿Y ya le preguntaste a tu esposo por la amiguita de él?

Them: ¿Todavía vives con tu amiguita? 

Response: ¿De cuál amiguita me hablas? Yo vivo con mi pareja. 

Them: ¿Y esa foto que pusiste el otro día con tu amiguita tan rara? 

Response: Más raro es el selfie que subió usted en Facebook.

Them: Me has decepcionado tú y tu amiguita.

Response: ¿Y quién le dijo que vivo mi vida para satisfacerla a usted? No sea pendeja. 

Them: ¿Ya vas a dejar la bobada con tu amiguita?

Response: ¿Cuál bobada? ¿Ser gay? Eso no es ninguna bobada. Bobada es estar pendiente a la vida de los demás. Coja destino más bien. 

Response: ¿Por qué te mantienes con esa amiguita?

Them: Porque es mi pareja y quiero que me acompañe ella así como usted acompaña a su esposo. 

At the end of the day, you don’t have to explain your life to anyone. No one should bully you into molding yourself and life to make them feel more comfortable. That’s not right, and it serves no place in our growth as a community.