Singleness, I treasure thee like a Summer’s day. Because of you, I can stay home this Valentine’s day. I don’t have to pretend I’m “fine” and brace a blizzard in stockings and heels that get stuck in the snow. That too-small, high-top table at that trendy restaurant that blasts obscure hip-hop music will NOT be graced by my ass. Oh, that steak house with the ocean view? Yeah, you can keep your thirty-five dollar drinks.
For those of you who are thinking, “Pfttt, I wouldn’t be the one paying for those drinks.” Well, the bills for your wax, pedicure, new outfit (which you will never wear again), and card + chocolates combo (because you’re so thoughtful and would NEVER show up empty handed) would have made those drinks look like PBRs at your college dive bar. With that in mind, here’s an ode to Singleness — in GIFs.
10Ode to Singleness
Let me start off with a note that is applicable on every day of Singleness. The sweet, sweet sleep that comes from the comfort and peace of knowing that no one is cheating on you.
9Right or Wrong?
In that same vein, you can also find comfort knowing that you’re not making one-in-a-lifetime memories with the wrong person. You will always be right for you… A significant other, however, may only be for right now.
8Self Love Is On The Rise
As far as the person that IS worth the waxing and the pedicures and suggestive outfits? (Not that they would ever expect you to dedicate time and money to that kind of upkeep). You will have the time and energy for THEM, because of all the time and energy you’re putting into yourself in the form of love and care.
7Just Do You
Who has the foresight?! No need to set aside time for frivolous activities with your busy schedule, especially on a day where you need reservations for everything but takeout.
6You Don’t Owe Anyone Any Explanation
With that said, Valentine’s day can be all about you! Setting aside personal time is a key to success.
You don’t have to share your food. Need I say more?
5Did You Say Chocolate?!?
Actually, I could say more. You can eat whatever you want. Every store in the west is going to be stacked with chocolate and there’s no one to stop you from taking those to the face.
4Thank You Leslie Knope For Introducing Us To February 13th – Galentine’s Day
This can be a perfect occasion to subvert the culture. Ever heard of Galentine’s day? Being single on and around Valentine’s day opens a window to plan something special with the true MVPs of your support system: Your homegirls.
Who says you can’t get dressed up and go for drinks? This may be a good time to meet someone new! Flirting is fun and research shows that it’s a great way to build up self-esteem.
3You know what’s worth celebrating?
The choice not to be complacent in an unfulfilling relationship. Anyone can settle hard enough to be in a relationship, but what’s the good in that?
2Again, who needs that?
Also, you may not be able to resist (brace yourself) comparing your Valentine’s day with your SO with the flood of V-day posts you’ll see on the ‘gram.
How will you top last year?! Forget the ‘gram, what about the pressure you feel within your couple? Where are you going to go? What gifts will you get? What loving message will you write on your card? What’re you going to wear? How will you make the after-party equally romantic? (if you know what I mean). Where will you store the surprises so nobody finds them too early?
1Last but not least, who can put a price on avoiding disappointment?
Or at least you’re avoiding that uniquely disappointing feeling of underwhelmed-ness…and having to hide it to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. You know you can’t help but expect a grand gesture from your beau on a day like V-Day. You also know that for him, any gesture of love is grand.
Yeah, maybe this sounds somewhat cynical. What’s the problem with that? There’s a time and a place for everything. There will be years where you will be celebrating Valentine’s day with someone you love, and years that you won’t. The point is that shouldn’t change your feelings of love toward yourself. There’s worthwhile outcomes on both sides, and there’s plenty to do by yourself, with your friends, or with your loved one (even if that’s a reference to your cat at the moment). Just remember, for every **sigh** of exhausted singleness, there’s an equal-but-opposite **sigh** of tired patience from the girl who wore spanx to her surprise date at the country buffet. Practice you’re “OMG THIS IS PERFECT” face for next year, just in case!