Time Slinging: The Working Mom’s Go-To Back to School Cheat Sheet

When you were a kid, the start of summer was the absolute BEST feeling in the world. You’d toss your worksheets and reports in the sky and run out of that school so fast you’d think it was on fire. Freedom at last! But for moms, well, things pretty much happen in reverse. Summer break is the most stressful time of year. Your kids are around ALL. THE. TIME. And they are bored. And sweaty. And hungry. And looking to be entertained at all hours of the day. And as a working mom, you’re still just as busy and torn and stressed as you always were, maybe even more. Which is why the words “back to school” are like music to your ears. And while it does mean you might get your life back on schedule and return to a state of normalcy (or as normal as life with kids can be), transitioning back to a school state of mind also comes with its own unique set of struggles. 

From scheduling to packing lunches to getting to school and work on time to coordinating everyone’s after-school programs and making sure homework is done and maybe (maybe) even having a moment to pee in peace, the start of the school year can be pure chaos. While you are definitely getting your freedom back during school hours so you can actually get work done, you’re also shifting your focus on increasing your many tasks and responsibilities exponentially once the school year begins. And your days are already long and overloaded as it is.

A 2017 study by Reader’s Digest found that working mothers work an insane amount of hours each week. After gathering data from 2,000 mothers with children between the ages of 5 and 12, the study found that on average a working mother officially “clocks in” for the day at 6:23am and “clocks out” at 8:31pm once their responsibilities to their kids and their jobs are done for the day. PS – any working mom knows that you never actually get to clock out, you’re on call 24 hours a day for what feels like forever. But even so, that is nearly 70 hours a week, not counting the time you are expected to dedicate to your children’s school involvement and socializing with other moms and kids. Clearly being a working mom (or mom in any scenario) is not for the faint of heart or for anyone who needs a solid night’s sleep on a regular basis.

Considering how much time working moms actually spend working, and how hectic their lives can be, it makes sense that the back to school transition would be stressful for the whole family. 

According to Gemima St. Louis Ph.D., in Psychology Today, “the transition back to school affects not only children but also their families. Family routines will change and many parents re-focus on work as they watch hopefully, but often with anxiety, to see how their children will fare.” And the way to prepare and deal with the back to school transition is crucial not just for now, but for the future as well. “The start of the school year offers parents opportunities both to smooth their children’s immediate adjustment and to help build patterns of coping with transitions that will last a life-time,” she explains. 

So where does a working mom even begin? First of all, breathe. Secondly, save this as your reference guide to surviving back to school. Consider it a working mom’s back to school survival guide.  

1Be Realistic and be Kind to Yourself

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Raise your hand if you’ve experienced mom guilt. Literally all hands should be up right now. Mom guilt is a real struggle and it plagues us all, whether we are working parents or stay at home moms. It’s impossible to be perfect and to do it all, and when we falter in any way, big or small, we feel bad. We feel guilty over missing school plays and we feel ashamed for being late to meetings. We beat ourselves up for sitting at a computer working instead of playing a card game with our kids. The struggle to balance it all is real, but if you want to survive parenthood, especially during this back to school time, you need to cut yourself some slack. 

Take a mental health day. Breathe. Meditate. Be gentle with yourself and your kids. It’s okay if they are late one day. It’s okay if you need an extension on a deadline or if you need to reschedule a meeting so you can pick up your child from school on time and be there for them. It’s okay to explain to your kid that you have responsibilities to your job and that being a mom is hard. Be realistic about your time, your inability to be everyone at once but your ability to still be a great mom. 

Ask for Help

And above all, when in doubt, ask for help. That’s what friends and neighbors and babysitters are for. Do not be afraid to admit that you need some assistance. Set up a carpool system with friends so you don’t have to worry about being at drop off or pick up every day. Schedule playdates. Sign them up for after school activities at school, which will buy you an extra couple of valuable hours to work. Ask grandparents or babysitters to carry a bit of the load and help out with the kids when you need it. And ask your boss for a bit of wiggle room too. Maybe instead of being in the office until 6pm, you can work afternoons or evenings from home to finish an assignment. Perhaps you can video conference into a meeting or two so that you don’t have to miss a parent-teacher conference. Find balance where you can, ask others to help you out, and remember, no matter what, you are doing your best, and you are doing an AMAZING job.

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